Thu, 31 January 2002

Close encounters with the Devil

Friday night. The time when the lonely ones start missing the pistols they left at their parents home, and contemplate thoughts like:"Is it legal commiting suicide with a gun if you no longer have a license to it?". It was at that time , while I was gulping down Knor's onion soup (Are you supposed to use *hot* water?!) Did the telephone ring.
[V]: Good evening.
[H]: Hi.
[snip boring opening remarks]
[H]: I'm so bored, all my friends deserted me.
[V]: Probably serves you right.
[H]: Why are you so nasty to me?
[V]: I'm nasty to everyone (I second that - Udi)
[H]: I still can't believe you said your not impressed with my tits.
[V]: I didn't say that. I said I don't believe my eyes on these cases. Only manual ispection. Too many times all expectations drop and droop once the bra goes down.
[H]: Oh, no. It's not the case with me.
[V]: Not to mention the allmost criminal wonder-bra.
[H]: I don't need a wonder bra. I do have one, but I don't use it.
[commence boring how-my-female-friends-envy-my-tits stories]
[H]: Oh, I'm so bored. I hate my life.
[V]: (as if doing a great favour) You wanna go somewhere, drink coffee?
[H]: Yes! Lets go to Bialik cafe.
[V]: OK.
[H]: I'll wear a beged-goof so you can be impressed with my tits
[V]: (viewing softcore pornography on channel 3) Aha.
[H]: Should I put makeup?
[V]: Well, Im not putting any.
[H]: I'll put on some, it makes me feel more...
[V]: Feminine?
[H]: No, I allways feel feminine.
[V]: OK, I'll meet you at the corner of king George and Shenkin at 12:45.
[fast forward]

(night, interior, bialik cafe, a young girl in a tight shirt and an unshaved male sitting and drinking coffee, prodigy music in the background)
[H]: You've really changed since the army.
[V]: No I haven't. I'm just a lot more tired.
[H]: Well, I don't understand why I'm doing all the talking, and you're not talking at all.
[V]: I don't have anything intelligent to say
[H]: I just can't understand how come I can't find someone to fuck.
It's been two weeks since I got laid, and that was a pathetic one too.
[V]: Maybe you should consider trying women.
[H]: I don't think so, allthough thats one of my fantasies.
[V]: Would you care to elaborate (Women on Top, Here I come! - VL)
[H]: Well, there's one I wish I didn't do in Brazil, and that's to do it with a niger, and I'd really like to do it in a room where there are giant mirrors on the wall and on the ceiling, and of course, a Menage a troi would be nice.
[V]: Ahmmm...
(a lot of fucking stories, when-I-was-trekking-in-south-america stories a verbal fencing)
[H]: all those poor Kravi soldiers. Maybe I should fuck with them to help their morale.
[V]: Everything for our country. Alltough I'm not sure that a fuck with *you* would really raise morale.
(pause)
[H]: (eyes lowered) You really think I'm a bad fuck?
[V]: Of course not. I just said that out of spite.
[H]: Hmmmm. Maybe we should ask for the check.
[V]: Yes.
(some more conversation. walking home while rubbing one against the other, a long meaningless talk, heavy with sexual tension, exit female character)
[H]: Good night. Do call me.
[V]: Aha.